Jeff Merz, Age N/A, Can Collector



Rita Wong, Age 24, Professional Dilettante

"The Loose Stools are so dope, I can't believe they haven't been signed yet. The raw energy at their shows is amazing; you never know what to expect. At their last show, I caught one of Bill Holbrook's drumsticks when he threw them into the audience. I totally had to deck this other girl to get it, but it was so worth it. I'm going to have it framed".


John Mortell, Age 25, Gender Relations/Seniors Division

"In my old country a man’s stool is a symbol of his soul and is worshipped".


Val Masters, Age 30, Quality Assurance expert for a small latex balloon company

Wow. Stools set was wicked awesome. I got to say it was nice to be able to see them at all. They don’t always show up for gigs. Last year, I got the shit kicked out of me when I made up T-shirts and brought them to Jamaica Plain to sell at a Stools concert. The band didn’t show and somebody stole my T-shirts, my wallet and my pot. Anyway, water under the bridge. They are like a new band now. From Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” to Holbrook’s drum solo instrumental version of Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”, the band was completely fuckin awesome. And I really like them in a small venue. That was wicked cool of Mike’s mom to let you guys gig in her basement


Eric Ferrari, Age 24, Marketing Executive

"The Loose Stools are just as good as their name suggests. Perhaps even better."

John Connor, Age 33, Hostage Negotiater

The Loose Stools may be the 21st Century's Rosetta Stone. Their music transcends the mundane Rock and Roll that we all grew up on, and takes us to a place previously referred to in works of fiction. Call it Nirvana, Shangri-La, El Dorado, or the girls shower room at Angel Beach High, but those of us who have had the privilege of witnessing a 'Stools show live, understand just what I am talking about.

This is the kind of music that should be played during Middle East talks, during college board exams, and yes, even during church. In fact, thanks to the 'Stools, I have gained full understanding of Einstein's Relativity Theory, written a peace proposal for Northern Ireland, and have been nominated for the Nobel Prize in Economics for my work on Supply Side Economics in Third World Countries. The 'Stools music just helps me understand the voices in my head that I've always heard but never understood, because I did not speak Jive - but now I do -thanks to the 'Stools.
      Sadie Prince, Age 5, Chocolate Lab

"They suck. I'm freakin deaf thanks to those a-holes".